I had a huge revelation about myself last week.  I am no longer the fat girl in the joint.

We’ll harken back to the days of elementary school…

I was a little butterball.  That’s just a fact.  I was not the kid that happily or easily ran the mile in P.E.  In fact, I could usually be seen feigning a stitch in my side or hobbling because of a twisted ankle (sadly, this was not faked, I’ve always been a klutz).  I still can’t do a pull-up to save my life and the only “sports” I was good at were kickball, dodgeball, and oddly enough, floor gymnastics.

I was the kid that quit ballet because the original “easy” teacher left and the new one was an actual ballet teacher so she expected us to work and dance and actually try.  Looking back, I wish my parents had pushed the issue with me a little bit, maybe then I might have actually had some semblance of grace when I walk instead of being a mix between an elephant and a clydesdale.  Maybe then I would have also been slightly less accident prone because I would be awake of how to turn without falling or hitting stuff/people.

Later in life, I found a way to get out of taking real personal fitness in high school.  I took it in nightschool… at another school.  I told my parents that it was so I could have more room to take AP classes, which I was able to take more of, but it was actually because I was lazy and didn’t want to run.  At night, the field at the other school wasn’t lit up and they also don’t expect anything really from you.  I don’t know if that’s true of all night classes, but it was with night P.E.  It was great.  I actually got an A in a P.E. class.  The only A I ever got in P.E.  I was always a C1A student.  I wasn’t good at anything so they gave me a C but I was always able to make it look like I made an effort and I didn’t whine so I got the 1 and A.

Now, I know what some of you may be thinking… If I had just tried in P.E. while growing up, maybe I would not be a butterball.  Alas, that isn’t the case.  In orer to battle the amount of food constantly presented, I would have had to exercise as much as they do on The Biggest Loser every single day.  A measley P.E. class wasn’t going to cut it.

You see, my dad was Greek.  That means that you automatically get food shoved in your face the second you walk in the door.  My friends knew that they were going to eat if they came over.  And just because you might have been slightly allergic to eggs, doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t end up eating an omelet…. or two.

When you ate at my house, you automatically got a plate (that you did not fill).  Afterwards, this was the drill

If you didn’t want any more food… TOUGH

If you wanted a little bit more, just say “No, thanks.  I don’t want any more.”

If you want a whole other plate, say, “Just a little, please.”

If you want a whole new mountain of food,  say “Yes.”

I grew up with the awesome food of both Brazil and Greece.  At my house we didn’t eat macaroni and cheese (which I had never had until second grade when I started eating school lunches) or meatloaf.  We had Pastitsio and Bife Enrolado with rice and beans.  I also grew up in a condo that was one step away from the grave so my brother and I didn’t have much of an opportunity to play high action running around games.  We only got to do that in the summer when we would go to “The Ranch” and I would lose something like 20 pounds in 4 months (we would leave school early) only to gain it back once we returned.

So, that was a huge background to what I figured out last week.  I don’t know if other girls do this too or if it was just my little idiosyncrasy (aka crazyness), but when I would take a class or walk into a party or whatever, I always compared my body to all the other girls there.  Who was fatter, who was thinner, and who was the same.  Well, last week I was in the middle of a dance class when I noticed that I hadn’t bothered to do that at all (and this was day three of the class).  This is when it finally hit me that in the past year and a half I have lost about 45 lbs.  It’s not a super impressive number in the long run and only averages to 2.5 lbs lost a month, but it means a lot more than that.  I now go to the gym… for fun.  I use the ellyptical and take Zumba classes (which are way fun and remind me of our high school dances because of the music).  I still don’t run, though.  I doubt I ever will.  It’s just not my thing and I’m okay with it. But most of all, it hit me that I have actually lost this weight.

I bought pants in size 8/10 last week.  I don’t think I ever saw those numbers on the way up.  For as long as I can remember I have always been a size 14/XL girl.  Now I’m even getting some mediums.

Before you start doubting and screaming vanity sizing I will say that it’s not at any particular store that I have been able to buy smaller clothes, it’s at all of them, including Anthropologie which is one of those stores where, in the past, I would have walked by just knowing that they wouldn’t have anything that fit me.  Plus, instead of just clothing sizes, I am actually looking at my measurements.

I feel better too. 

So, big step for me here.  Yay!