Lake St. Mary

We arrived in West Glacier at around 9:30pm, mountain time.  We got our car and then made our way to The Great Bear Inn where we would be staying for the remainder or our trip.  It is an awesome place and I can’t say enough great things about the accommodations (which included breakfast, a cocktail hour, and gourmet dinner) or about Susan, the owner, and Ryan, the chef.  They were amazing!  We also met some fun people from all over the world while we were there.

View of mountains in the rain

The next day, after having lunch at the West Glacier Restaurant (where we ate lunch a LOT),  we took our first drive through Glacier National Park.  It was a rainy day so we decided to take it easy.  Even with much of tallest mountains being obscured by fog, the sights we saw were simply breathtaking.  I’ve never seen so many beautiful sights in one place before.  We went to Alaska a few years ago and the glaciers and snow there were beautiful, but it was a different beauty than this.

We spent a great deal of time on the Going to the Sun Road.  It’s the main road that travels through the park.  They are doing a major repair of the road and it’s a little unerving at time to drive on, but it’s a really easy road.  Sometimes we needed to wait around for the random bear, big horned sheep, or white mountain goat to pass (and pose for pictures as they do) or you would get caught on the periodic road closures, but those wouldn’t delay you as much as one would think.  Maybe 20 minutes at each of two stops, at the most.

We spent a great deal of time playing by streams and throwing rocks into the water, playing in the snow at Logan’s Pass, and taking little hikes like the Sun Point Nature Trail leading to Baring Falls.  It always amazes me what a stream/waterfall can do to people.  Everyone at the falls was playing in the water (as much as you can in a glacier fed waterfall and stream) and laughing.  It was as if everyone there, of all ages and religions (even some Amish), turned into five year olds.  It was so cute!

View of Lake St. Mary from the Sun Point Nature Trail

Around the middle of the trip, C took us to The Park Cafe for lunch.  I had a burrito and then had some pie, which The Park Cafe is known for.  It really was very tasty.  I had the razzleberry which was a mixture of blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries.  The crust was extremely light and flaky and different from other pie crusts I have had.  I’ll warm you, though.  It is a totally hippie place.  I think one of the prerequisites in order to get hired is the use of Birkenstocks.  But, they do have really good pie, and burritos, and chili, and bison burgers.

C went overnight hiking on Gunsight Lake one day, so I entertained Enzi by going to play in the snow again at Logan’s Pass.  While we were in the parking lot, I had a random big hornes sheep just come up nudging me to pet him.  It was a really friendly sheep, though I can’t help to think that he was just trying to steal my little bag of Sour Patch Kids.  Kid theaving sheep.

After 10 days in Montana, it was time for us to return home.  We took the train back to Chicago and then stayed in Merriville, Indiana for the night before driving home, exhausted and happy.

Illinois, Minnesota, North Dakota
As soon as we checked out of The Palmer House, we made our way to Chicago’s Union Station.  Since we had booked a sleeper aboard the train, we were given access to the Metropolitan Lounge while we were at the station.  We didn’t get to use if for very long though as, once everything was taken care of, including a second trip to and from the car, we only had about 10 minutes before we boarded the Empire Builder on our way to West Glacier, Montana.

What was most impressive throughout the whole boarding process is that we did not have to go past security.  There was no taking off of shoes and having everything you own ransacked as if you were already guilty of being a plotting terrorist, while grandma and an infant are getting frisked to the side.  No, we were let out onto the platform from the lounge and wished a good trip as we made our way to our car.

We boarded car 31 and made our way to our room- Family Room #15.  This is the most spacious of the on board rooms.  It takes up the entire short width of the car and can seat/sleep four people (although I would say it’s more of two adults and two children.  There is room to walk around and even to set up Enzi’s little Thomas the Tank Engine playset.  A few minutes later we were brought some champagne by our attendant, Laura, and asked what time we wanted to have dinner.  She also let us know that there was complementary coffee, tea, juices, and water available in our car for us.

We rested the few hours until dinner.  We stretched out and read and played on the various i-things we brought for entertainment.  C went to get us some lunch from the little counter service place and we had some our snacks that we brought on- which included various liquids above 3 oz that we brought from home.

Dinnertime arrived and off we go to the dining car.  Being in a sleeping car meant that all our meals are included in our fare and all we are responsible for are tips and any alcoholic drinks we wanted.  Sofia greeted us first, sat us, and brought our drink orders with a smile.  Then Justin, from Seattle, brought our food.  Both C and I ordered the steak with baked potato and we got Enzi a grilled cheese.  Both steaks were cooked to our order and very tasty.  We had overheard Sofia mention to another table that she spoke Greek so I mentioned that so did I  so we started speaking Greek to each other.  After dinner we chatted with Justin for a couple of minutes and found that they are on a six days on, five days off schedule.  That is a lot of hours!

After dinner we rolled ourselves back to our room.  We took a small leg stretching break somewhere in Minnessotta, and then headed back inside to start turning in.  Our attendant had made up our room for sleeping and we settled in for sleep.

I wasn’t sure how well we would sleep on a moving train, but I slept really well.  I got cold a bit for a chunk of the night, but not enough to keep me awake.  I certainly slept better than I have ever slept on any plane, that’s for sure.

This morning I woke up to somewhere in North Dakota.  At breakfast, where Sofia remembered us and welcomed us in Greek, we looked out the window at all the fields of corn, wheat, and soy, and something that has small yellow flowers, maybe mustard?  It was quite calming.  Tonight we arrive at West Glacier.

Days 1 and 2- Kentucky, Indiana, and Chicago.
Since there is no way that we can ever leave at a decent time and are constantly led to procrastinate such things as packing and making sure everything is ready to go, it was four hours after our estimated departure time that we were finally on our way out of town.
It was a strange thing to pack for two seasons again.  I’m no longer used to actually having luggage when I travel instead of a simple carry-on and actually taking a big bag along with the usual stuff one needs when traveling with kids, it was more than we are used to putting in the car.  It was also strange because we were actually able to put things in the trunk as Cornell was not going to be on this trip with us.
We make our way out of Kentucky and into Indiana, the land of slow left lane drivers.  I am not usually prone to road rage, but the only thing that kept me from yelling my head off is that Enzi had finally fallen asleep and there was no way I was going to run the risk of ruining this rare thing called a nap.  I just don’t understand why there were so many people going UNDER the speed limit in the left lane. Last I checked, the left lane was meant to pass, not meander along.
As we reached Northern Indiana, we began seeing wind turbines, literally as far as the eye can see.  C said that when he and his friend passed by this same area, about three years go, on their way to a concert, there had been no turbines, now there were hundreds.  It turns out that they were part of an initiative that has created a few wind farms in the area.  It’s called the Benton County Wind Farm, since it’s well, in Benton County.

The problem I saw is that at the time we were passing, less than a third of the turbines were spinning.  There had been some debate about whether the area was even viable for wind farming and I guess the decision was reached that it was, but I am unsure about the statistics so far as to whether or not it has been very productive.  By the looks of it, and the numerous new platforms, towers, whatnot being built for new turbines, I am guessing that, at least for the time being, they are.

The plains soon gave way to industry and then we started to see the trains.  That is also when C and I began to constantly be told to see these trains by our very own train enthusiast (to put it mildly), Enzi. As we approached Chicago, the trains would appear on either side of the highway.  To the left there were commuter trains, to the right freight trains, and we saw Every. Single. One.
We drove past the now no longer named Sears Tower.  It’s amazing to think that it used to be the tallest building in the world for so long.  
Then began the search for our hotel, which brought us into downtown and directly underneath the train line.  From the backseat we couldn’t help but hear squeals of delight and “Look, train” every few seconds as a train would rumble above us.  Let me tell you, it got old fast.
Finally we were inside the hotel.  The Palmer House is one of the historical hotels in downtown Chicago.  It is said to be the most expensive wedding present ever.  It was built in the 1800s and suffered damage in the great Chicago fire.  It is beautiful!  The ceiling is a giant painted and carved mural that includes a Venus rising from the water and, I’m guessing an Adam and Eve.  It also has a few cherubs annoying a greyhound by pulling its tail and trying to climb on top of it.
The lobby is full of inviting leather chairs that look like they could fit into any distinguished library.
Our room in on the thirteenth floor.  Odd that it’s actually that since usually hotels skip that number.  But, on the thirteenth floor we are.  Room 13-206.
The room itself is small compared to many of the rooms in more recently built hotels, but it is well appointed.  There was more than enough room for the three of us, but had there been a second chair in the room, we would not have been as easily accommodated.  The bed was soft and full of pillows.  The amenities were all from Crabtree and Evelyn’s LaSource line. Very nice.
C stepped out last night and got us a late dinner (how I miss being able to get restaurant food at all times of the day and night) from Millers Pub, right next door.  He got a prime rib open faced sandwich with mashed potatoes and au jus.  It was really tasty, though I am not a big fan of prime rib because of all the visible fat on it, and I have my food issues with being able to see fat that is white and not charred to a crisp.  He also brought me a piece of lemon cake which was god too, but too lemon-ey.  I prefer lemon cake with vanilla or coconut frosting to tone down the citrus somewhat.
This morning, I got up and was going to get breakfast.  I decided I’m not really hungry, but could use some coffee so off I go to Starbucks, just at the street level.  I grab my cup and find a seat back in the lobby.  The World Cup is on a TV right by where I am sitting.  I am engulfed in a sea of orange shirts emblazoned with only one word- Holland.  The game is against Brazil.  Okay, I’ll watch a little.

Its time to get ready to go back to my room and pack up.  We leave Chicago in a few hours towards Montana.  By train, it will take us 31 hours to get to West Glacier.  I have never been on a long train trip and am excited.  I also fear that it will be 31 hours of repeatedly being told that we are on a train by my three year old.  At least we have a sleeper cabin so only we’ll have to hear the constant news updates.  Ha, ha!

The way I see it, feminism is about equality.  Women should be able to get the jobs they want, get paid equivalently for doing those jobs, should not be forced to be the “little wife,” and should be able to feel good about themselves in whatever they pursue.  Feminism is about choice too.  It is not about “having it all” if you don’t want to.  And it by no means makes you less of a feminist or less of a woman if you don’t.

I am a housewife, a stay at home mom, a home maker, whatever you want to call it.  This was MY choice.  I have never been able to see myself as full on having a full time job and staying at it for twenty years.  I get bored too easily.  It’s one of the reasons I went into theater, actually.  When you do a show, every night is different.  Heck, every rehearsal is different.  That’s not to say that I would never work.  I have, I may in the future (both near and far), but I will because I want to, not because some “crazy feminist” thinks that I should because I’m turning my back on all my “sistah’s” who burned their bras for our freedom to have it all.

I don’t want it all.

I want to be happy in my own life.

I spend my days right now playing with Enzi, spending time with C, seeing friends, passing the time online, and helping C out at much as I can with his business: puregrowthorganics.com. You totally should check out the website.  I’ll post a little review of what we have experienced by using these products in our own garden in a few.  You can see it as slightly biased, but coming from someone who has a “black thumb,” it really isn’t.  I also cook, do some of the cleaning, go to the gym, go out by myself, watch TV, and yes, sometimes I even eat bon-bons while I do that.  None of these things make me less of a woman.

I don’t vaccuum while wearing high heels and pearls and reading War and Peace.  I don’t have dinner ready by 6pm and wait for my husband with a stiff drink and a kiss at the door.  I hardly ever wear make-up or a dress.  I am not and have never been the “little woman.”

Yet, I am not feminist enough for many people?  Well, for many women because we are the ones that all of a sudden came up with so many rules about being a modern woman and a feminist.  Supposedly I should be getting up no later than 5am to go to the gym, working a full time job, preferably as a doctor, lawyer, lobbyist, or politician, come home and still have the time and energy to take care of myself and my family including cooking dinner and keeping a spotless house, and then after spending some “quality time” with my husband (who I really don’t need in any sense of the word and is only superficially important in my life) once the kids are in bed, where I am always on top, take a little bit of “me time” with a hot bath and then go to sleep to start all over again the next morning.

No, thank you.  That’s just not my idea of a good time.

These same women would dismiss my not wanting these things with the notion that I have been conditioned by our patriarchal society and my upbringing to want to take on traditional woman’s roles.  The big problem with that theory is that these same women have no idea at all about my upbringing.  They figure that my mom was a housewife and my dad went to work, bla, bla, bla.  They have no idea that while my mom did stay home with us kids, so did my dad.  Both my parents cooked and cleaned and took care of us.  We only ate dinner together on holidays and were, for lack of a better word, roomates in our tiny condo.  My dad was the one that drove us to and from school.  He was the one who would wake up early and have breakfast ready for us so that my mom could sleep.  Both would have to go to Brazil or Greece for different amounts of time, my dad to look over the factory, and my mom for either health or family reasons.  It’s definitely not what one could discribe as a typical patriarchal upbringing.  Very little of how I grew up is even how my friends grew up.  So don’t tell me that I’ve been conditioned against whatever you are selling just because I’m not buying.  I just don’t want it.

Not only do I not want to drive myself crazy by trying to do and have it all, which my perfectionist self would end up with a nervous breakdown trying to achieve and not succeeding, I also don’t want to be bombarded by the belittling views of self-righteous crazies who try to make me feel bad for not wanting to fit into their box when the whole idea was for us to not have to fit into any box.

Why did we fight so hard to not be oppressed by men, only to be oppressed by other women?

Since sharing is scaring, prepare to be frightened as well.

Does anyone else get images of that clown asking that little girl if she wants some candy or to help him find his little lost puppy from the driver’s side of a tiny little polka-dotted clown car while holding a handkerchief soaked in chloroform in one hand and slowly driving with the other?  This is the aftermath!

Jem and the Holograms were supposed to be the ones you rooted for.  After all, they were “truly outrageous, truly, truly, truly outrageous.” But honestly, The Misfits were better.  Way better.

They weren’t lying when they sang

We are The Misfits

Our songs are better

We are The Misfits, The Misfits

We’re gonna get her.

In the days of my youth Saturday morning meant waking up later than I usually did for school, but early enough to catch cartoons galore.  I watched everything from Bugs Bunny and The Smurfs, to M.A.S.K. and Jem (y’know, she’s truly outrageous).  I even would sometimes what the “Poor Man’s Smurfs” known as The Snorks.

It never occurred to me that there was “evil” in Bugs Bunny dressing as a sexy woman to escape from Elmer Fudd and saying “Come up and see me sometime.”  So what if there was “violence” in Wile E. Coyote always trying to catch the Roadrunner?  We all knew it was fake.  First off, no phone order would come as quickly as those from ACME.  You know that when you ordered sea monkeys, or even better, your Roller Racer, you needed to allow anywhere between 4-6 or 6-8 weeks for delivery.  Apparently, they didn’t actually make anything until you ordered it.  Anyway, it would not just show up 3 seconds after you ordered it.  Second, no one can really walk off a cliff and not fall until you look down.  You know you tried to do it at least once off the porch steps or the side of the pool.  It wouldn’t work.  Your head then figured that maybe it was just coyotes, either way, you didn’t think that you could do it.

The Flintstones or The Jetsons were chauvinistic?  So what?  By the time we were watching them our moms were working too.  Well, not my mom, but my dad stayed home too so what I saw on the Flintstones wouldn’t make me think that’s the way “we as women” should be treated.  My cousin once told me I needed to “go inside and make him a sandwich,” in return he got a punch in the face.  I think I just managed to survive the things I saw on Saturday mornings.  Ooooh.

So what is there to see now?  Nothing.  It’s true.  Many stations don’t even show cartoons anymore.  Or should we call them animated series now?  In general, we usually stick with stuff we have DVRed but this morning I wanted to see what was beyond the Disney Channel and past the Chuggington/Mickey Mouse Clubhouse/ Jungle Junction we have recorded.  I aso wanted to try and steer clear of the Dinosaur Train and Thomas and Friends on PBS.  I turned to NBC to find the Saturday edition of The Today Show.  What every kid wants to see- news.  Uh huh.  CBS had the Early Show.  After the Early Show came the Doodlebops cartoon.  The Doodlebops live action show was mildly unirritating at best.  The cartoon made me want to rip my eyelashes off one by one.   Quick!  PBS to the rescue!  Eventually I tried NBC again and found Turbo Dogs and Shelldon.  These weren’t actually too bad except that they are, like most animated shows nowadays, computer generated.  I appreciate the mastery that goes behind making these and that it’s complicated and cool to make them look all “real” 0r whatever, but I miss the actually drawn stuff.  I also miss that not everything has to have a huge moral at the end.  I don’t always want to learn, not even as a kid… or maybe especially as a kid ater I’ve spent a whole week learning my booty off at school.  I want a mental break.  I want He-Man and She-Ra and Popeye and Fat Albert (although that used to be on our Channel 33- like today’s CW- and not on the “mainstream” channels).

We were all ready for a great Father’s Day dinner.  The five of us piled in C’s car and off we went to the Sagebrush Steakhouse in Morganton, NC.  C and I had eaten there about a year and a half ago and the food had been good.  The In-Laws had eaten there a few times since, but they had not been in the past few months.

I know that Father’s Day is nowhere near as celebrated as Mother’s Day when it comes to restaurants, but people still go out to eat with their dads.  The parking lot wasn’t very crowded.  Okay, well it was around 8 so maybe that’s late for dinner in this part of the world.  There was no host/hostess so we had to wait to eventually get seated by some of the waitstaff.  No biggie.

We get seated.  There is a family at the table behind us.  I don’t know how long they have been there, but it looks like it they are nearly done.  We watch the table across the aisle from us get bussed.  The busboy literally wipes the food from the table onto the floor.  I watch a half eaten carrot roll under the table.  He walks away.  I’m hoping that he will come back with a broom to finish cleaning, but he’s never seen again.

Here are the scenes from underneath our table and from the table across the aisle:

Under our table

More under our table

The rear of our seats at Sagebrush

Under the table across the aisle at Sagebrush

Yes, under our table those things are lettuce, what may be either a carrot or a crayon, some half eaten bread, and chewed up globs of meat.  In the seat are peanuts and french fries that have hardened.  Under the other table is another myriad of filth.

The busboy saw us taking these pictures and was unfazed.

According to a report from the Burke County Health Department linked here, Sagebrush apparently got a 96 rating in February of this year.  How this happened, I just don’t understand if what we saw today is any indication of how things were back then.  If this is the kind of things patrons see, imagine what goes on behind the scenes.

We really should have left right there and then, because things just went downhill from there.  We ordered our food.  Cheese fries for an appetizer, steaks all around for the rest of us with various add-ons, and some spaghetti and french fries for Enzi.  I ask the waitress to put in the request for Enzi’s food with the app so that he can start eating.  We went through an average of 2.5 drinks per person before the cheese fries came out.  The cheese had previously been melted, and was hardened, and the fries were not very hot.  It looked as if it had been sitting on the pass for several minutes.  It tasted okay, but would have been better if it had been brought out correctly.  No sight of Enzi’s food.

A long while after we were finished eating the appetizer, the entrees come out.  Mom-in-law’s prime rib had a sheen to it.  That meat had either been previously frozen for so long a time that it now was full of freezer burn, or it was old and should not have been passed onto a consumer.  Either way, not edible.  She had ordered mushrooms to go along with it, these were delivered about 10 minutes after the dish was served..and tasted dirty and gritty as if they had not been cleaned.  Dad-in-law’s steak and potato was in  similar state.  Both C’s and Dad-in-law’s shrimp didn’t look quite cooked through.  Both my and C’s steaks were put on the wrong plate, and were tough and cold, and my baked potato was also cold and dried out.  I had ordered onions rings as a side and these came after Mom-in-law’s mushrooms and only after a reminder about their request and the request of Enzi’s fries which also didn’t show up.

Worst of all, though, may have been Enzi’s spaghetti.  When it came out, it looked like it had been sitting on a plate for over half an hour.  The noodles were cold, stuck together, and were beginning to harden.  The sauce was cold and congealed.  I couldn’t let my kid eat that.  In the middle of this “meal” C got up and took Enzi to McDonald’s- and he ended up with the best meal of the night!  Fast food better than a steakhouse…. who would have guessed!  We then overheard the family in the booth behind us that they had been waiting for over an hour for some of their food, including a baked potato.

I wish I had taken pictures of the food to show, but I was so disgusted that I just couldn’t do it.  I couldn’t.  Only about 15% of the food had even been eaten and most of it was just in tasting and grimacing.

When the waitress came with the checks, she automatically came with boxes.  When she asked if we wanted said boxes, she was met with a resounding “NO!” and we told her that this was possibly the worst meal we have ever had.  Honestly, the meal was in such bad shape that it should have been comped.  It wasn’t, and only a 10% discount was granted.  The manager didn’t even come out to get our feedback.

An email is being sent to the contact us section of Sagebrush’s website.  I am not linking to it here because it is just that disgusting!  I am also just letting the health dept there know what’s up.  Maybe it’s time for a reinspection…a surprise inpection… and NOT by the same person who previously inspected them.

I had a huge revelation about myself last week.  I am no longer the fat girl in the joint.

We’ll harken back to the days of elementary school…

I was a little butterball.  That’s just a fact.  I was not the kid that happily or easily ran the mile in P.E.  In fact, I could usually be seen feigning a stitch in my side or hobbling because of a twisted ankle (sadly, this was not faked, I’ve always been a klutz).  I still can’t do a pull-up to save my life and the only “sports” I was good at were kickball, dodgeball, and oddly enough, floor gymnastics.

I was the kid that quit ballet because the original “easy” teacher left and the new one was an actual ballet teacher so she expected us to work and dance and actually try.  Looking back, I wish my parents had pushed the issue with me a little bit, maybe then I might have actually had some semblance of grace when I walk instead of being a mix between an elephant and a clydesdale.  Maybe then I would have also been slightly less accident prone because I would be awake of how to turn without falling or hitting stuff/people.

Later in life, I found a way to get out of taking real personal fitness in high school.  I took it in nightschool… at another school.  I told my parents that it was so I could have more room to take AP classes, which I was able to take more of, but it was actually because I was lazy and didn’t want to run.  At night, the field at the other school wasn’t lit up and they also don’t expect anything really from you.  I don’t know if that’s true of all night classes, but it was with night P.E.  It was great.  I actually got an A in a P.E. class.  The only A I ever got in P.E.  I was always a C1A student.  I wasn’t good at anything so they gave me a C but I was always able to make it look like I made an effort and I didn’t whine so I got the 1 and A.

Now, I know what some of you may be thinking… If I had just tried in P.E. while growing up, maybe I would not be a butterball.  Alas, that isn’t the case.  In orer to battle the amount of food constantly presented, I would have had to exercise as much as they do on The Biggest Loser every single day.  A measley P.E. class wasn’t going to cut it.

You see, my dad was Greek.  That means that you automatically get food shoved in your face the second you walk in the door.  My friends knew that they were going to eat if they came over.  And just because you might have been slightly allergic to eggs, doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t end up eating an omelet…. or two.

When you ate at my house, you automatically got a plate (that you did not fill).  Afterwards, this was the drill

If you didn’t want any more food… TOUGH

If you wanted a little bit more, just say “No, thanks.  I don’t want any more.”

If you want a whole other plate, say, “Just a little, please.”

If you want a whole new mountain of food,  say “Yes.”

I grew up with the awesome food of both Brazil and Greece.  At my house we didn’t eat macaroni and cheese (which I had never had until second grade when I started eating school lunches) or meatloaf.  We had Pastitsio and Bife Enrolado with rice and beans.  I also grew up in a condo that was one step away from the grave so my brother and I didn’t have much of an opportunity to play high action running around games.  We only got to do that in the summer when we would go to “The Ranch” and I would lose something like 20 pounds in 4 months (we would leave school early) only to gain it back once we returned.

So, that was a huge background to what I figured out last week.  I don’t know if other girls do this too or if it was just my little idiosyncrasy (aka crazyness), but when I would take a class or walk into a party or whatever, I always compared my body to all the other girls there.  Who was fatter, who was thinner, and who was the same.  Well, last week I was in the middle of a dance class when I noticed that I hadn’t bothered to do that at all (and this was day three of the class).  This is when it finally hit me that in the past year and a half I have lost about 45 lbs.  It’s not a super impressive number in the long run and only averages to 2.5 lbs lost a month, but it means a lot more than that.  I now go to the gym… for fun.  I use the ellyptical and take Zumba classes (which are way fun and remind me of our high school dances because of the music).  I still don’t run, though.  I doubt I ever will.  It’s just not my thing and I’m okay with it. But most of all, it hit me that I have actually lost this weight.

I bought pants in size 8/10 last week.  I don’t think I ever saw those numbers on the way up.  For as long as I can remember I have always been a size 14/XL girl.  Now I’m even getting some mediums.

Before you start doubting and screaming vanity sizing I will say that it’s not at any particular store that I have been able to buy smaller clothes, it’s at all of them, including Anthropologie which is one of those stores where, in the past, I would have walked by just knowing that they wouldn’t have anything that fit me.  Plus, instead of just clothing sizes, I am actually looking at my measurements.

I feel better too. 

So, big step for me here.  Yay!

Last night I took melatonin again.  This time it did nothing.  I got all of about 2 hours of sleep all night.  Great.  Maybe I was too tired from travelling and then doing stuff all day long, but maybe not.